I feel like I’m standing at a strange crossroads... 😐

I feel like I’m standing at a strange crossroads... 😐

Part of me is frozen by fear, and part of me is energized by opportunity.

For the past several months, I’ve been working with Elaine, my ghostwriter, to bring my memoir, Awkward in a Thin Blue Line, to life. This isn’t fiction or a polished version of events. It’s my life, the awkwardness, the challenges, the feeling of being out of place, and the long process of growing into someone I could finally accept.

Now that we’re getting closer to the finish line, it is starting to feel real in a completely different way. The writing, editing, planning, printing, and release date are no longer just ideas on paper. They are becoming real decisions.

That part has given me pause…

Will people buy it?

I believe in this book deeply, but I also want to be thoughtful about each step forward. I want to make wise choices, protect my family, and still trust that this memoir can reach the people it is meant to reach.

What makes this difficult is knowing what’s inside these pages.

I write about growing up around things a kid shouldn’t have to understand, including early exposure to marijuana. I share my experience with IEPs, feeling behind in school, being bullied, and struggling to find where I belonged.

I also write about my time with the Kansas Highway Patrol in a way many people may not expect. I was proud of the work I was doing across the state, and I knew the public connected with it. But behind the uniform and public image, there were internal conflicts, closed-door meetings, and moments where I wondered if the work I believed in might cost me my job…

That is a part of the book people have never fully heard from me.

This memoir isn’t only about struggle. It’s about growth, finding peace, and learning to use those experiences to help others feel seen.

That’s why it matters to me.

I hope people will recognize parts of themselves in these pages. Not because our lives are the same, but because many of us know what it feels like to question our worth, feel overlooked, or keep moving forward without knowing what comes next.

That’s the connection I hope to make.

Awkward in a Thin Blue Line is scheduled for release on October 1.

That date is approaching, and this is becoming real.

I’m nervous, excited, proud, and hopeful.

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